Pirates are Necessary

Currently, pirates have much control in seaward fares. Ninety percent of the world's trading is done by sea, and pirates are overtaking at least one of Britain's ships daily. Many people are not aware of this, and it is debilitating. If there's no known need for change, then no change will occur.       Everyone knows of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and most love them. Lose the image of pirates given to you by these films. Now picture a fisherman, with the appearance of any average person. Look at his small boat, and peer underneath the seats. Here you will find machetes, and M14's. This "average" man is one of today's true pirates, a man of selected genius, skilled in sailing and stealing. Unbeknownst to his family and friends, this man (known worldwide as Hobo Wrath) is not really a fisherman. He attacks other fishing boats for their fish. Such a man as this knows how the world works. Hobo Wrath understands that "What is strong wins: that is the universal law."(Neitzsche) Hobo Wrath is not the only man of his kind, either. There is a plethora of pirates in the world today. One must understand though, that there are two types of pirates that exist today. Hobo Wrath is a small-scale buccaneer. The other kind of pirates, the hard-core corsairs, dress in camouflage and arm themselves with machine guns. The simple buccaneer tools are toys to these fellows. These angry sea rovers go for the big booty; only large shipping vessels are worthwhile to these ravagers. They would kill for one piece o' eight!       Now how can the world conquer such dangerous men, men who attack the unarmed for an excess of items that are not needed? The solution is simple. Every seafaring Willy should become a pirate!       Now, I know it may sound extreme, and maybe it is. But sometimes, extreme is necessary. Sometimes, pirates are necessary. You see, if all sailors become pirates, then the problem will become more widespread. Widespread problems get more publicity. It will not be long before the pirates take the attention of every news station worldwide. When the problem becomes known, change will occur, in the following form: air travel. All the world's trade will then be done by plane, and Britain will not have to worry about being attacked by ships! The big-time bandits will no longer have any large ships with worthy goods available, and will cease their reign. Fishermen will be too scared to go fishing without defense, and it will become too risky for small-time buccaneers to loot their tiny vessels. Our dearest Hobo Wrath will mend his ways, and become an honest fisherman.       As you can see, a movement to increase the numbers of pirates will motivate the world to change their shipping methods from ships to planes, which will ease the fears of serious pirate attacks. Small-scale attacks will still occur, as long as there are any ships on the water, but these scalawags are not nearly as dangerous as those going after the larger ships. Even fools without sea-legs can see that pirates are still needed in the world today.